who am i?

You are a water girl. You are flexible and very
nice. You are quiet so people who don't know
you think you are weird or just mean and high
and mighty like. You aren't though. You like
to have a good time and you also just like to
relax and just enjoy the stars.

lesson recently learned

be kind to unkind people. they need kindness the most.

im no honest to goodness saint but i found this really works. it is very difficult to do this especially when you've been the subject of people's unkindness. but things are only difficult when we insist they are. doing this, you run the risk of being rejected by the person you're trying to reach out but when the person does that, he's the one who loses. not you.

tips on how to love

i watched y speak last night. their topic was on who should give more love in a relationship, guys or girls? the average person on the street asked with the same question would probably say that it should be both - guys and girls should love in equal amounts because a relationship is a give-and-take matter. it's not good to keep score in a relationship. besides, love cannot be really measured.

anyway, the debate turned out to be heated one.

what struck me in the show were the things said in the few minutes towards the end. i don't recall exactly who said this, i believe it was ryan agoncillo, that you don't enter a relationship to be needy. you get into a relationship not to seek love from another person but to give your love to that person. loving is giving and vice versa.

ryan's final statement was something like this:

for the guys: love your woman like she's 16, young and beautiful.

for the girls: love your man like he's a 7 year old. let him play with his toys, let him play with his boys and he'll always come back to mama.

i'm not sure if i totally agree with him but i think it could work..

a happy ai update

bo bice made it to the finals!

yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!

hope he wins!

(lotsa fingers crossed!)

musings

why can't we see stars by day?

'the day must give way to the night so we can see the beauty that lies hidden in the dark..'

you always had answers..

everytime you see me sitting in a corner, staring blankly at the wide open spaces, looking at the distant horizon, concealed in my own darkness..

do you know what to do?

you should..

if you don't..

what hope is there for me?

you are the saving light that that sets me free..

just to tickle your brains

2 rules to success in life:

1. Don't tell people everything you know.


(i didn't get it right away too..)

speaking of God

Language is our medium of communication. It is the vehicle by which we express our thoughts and ideas. Language reflects the way we think and how we organize our thoughts whether it be logical or otherwise. Religion deals with the belief in a supreme being who is powerful, infinite and all-knowing. We refer to this higher power as God. In daily discourse, we express our ideas on various subjects. We make statements about our experiences with other people and we also make statements about God.

It is generally difficult to speak of God primarily because God is a being that we cannot experience directly. God is a reality that lies beyond the bounds of human sense experience. We acknowledge the fact that we are finite beings, as opposed to God. Thus, we can only express our understanding of God through our own finite ways. We can only speak of God by way of the only language we have at our disposal. It is in making statements about God that the issue on the function of language emerges. When we speak of God, does language function differently? As mentioned, we speak of God through the only language we have at our disposal- the very same language we use to speak of our human experiences. We cannot help but apply human terms in referring to God who is non-human. However, it is rather obvious that ordinary everyday language is not used in an ordinary way in speaking of God. Usually, ordinary words are used to mean something else other than its literal meaning in religious matters. Such is the case of the Bible, readers of the Bible are often reminded not to interpret Biblical passages to literally or else its meaning will not be captured. Ordinary language is not to be interpreted literally in statements about God. In short, to speak of God is to use language that non-literal. If that is so, how can we determine the truthfulness of such statements about God? This question poses another issue on religious language. Non-literal language may not be sufficient in expressing truths about God but that does not necessarily mean that such language is meaningless or contains no truth at all. It could be that the person speaking of God in such manner presents truth in a form that we have not encountered before or it is another level of reality that is presented in the language.

God is so incomprehensible that even to speak of God is very difficult for us who are finite. Perhaps it is best to leave the things that we do not understand yet to faith.

something beautiful

the first encounter

april 11. monday.first day of class. time between 4-5:50 pm. science center 2. huge class.

sir p: (calls out my name) why do you need to study pol sci?
me: (startled) well, i think, being citizens of our country we need to know our constitution..
sir p: what's in the constitution that you need to know?
me: (think!) some basic laws and rights..
sir p: what rights...the right to remain silent? (smiles)
me: yes.. (smiled back, feeling juvenile and idiotic)
sir p: do you wish to invoke your right to remain silent in class?
me: i could if i want to.. (juvenile indeed!)
sir p: but you do know the consequences of invoking that right? no grade..
me: yeah.. (invoke the right, now!)
sir p: what are your other rights?
me: right to life..? (who's asking who?)
sir p: right to life.. does a fetus have a right to life?
me: yes.. (of course!)
sir p: why?
me: because it's a person..
sir p: is a fetus a person?
me: yes..
sir p: why?
me: i don't have a answer to that.. (expecting he'd stop asking)
sir p: do you know the seavo case?
me: yes but i don't the details of it.. (he's not leaving yet?)
sir p: why?
me: i don't watch the news lately..
sir p: how about newspapers, magazines?
me: (shakes head)
sir p: when was the last time you read a newspaper?
me: a month ago.. (i'm just being honest!)
sir p: what was the issue a month ago?
me: (huwaat!?) can we go back to the news?
sir p: ok, what issue?
me: there is this divorce bill passed in court..
sir p: what about it?
me: it was being pushed forth by this group of women..
sir p: do women have the right to divorce their husbands?
me: i don't know..
sir p: ok, let's meet other interesting people here.. (goes away)
me: ( gives out a big sigh of relief)

* what transpired that afternoon was just a taste of things to come..

on excerpts

yup, that kid in high school was me..

and yeah, i still write stuff to survive boring classes..

excerpts

* in high school, there was this kid who almost always end up writing all sorts of ideas on her notebook just to survive a horiffyingly boring class. her write-ups ranged from insanely gothic to icky sweet sacharrine stuff. below are excerpts of an untitled poem she wrote out of utter romantic hopelessness..

i find myself standing by the sea,
under a starry sky and an enchanted moon.
lost in a trance of great serenity,
thinking: he will arrive soon.

out of the shadows appears my love, my knight,
to do naught but sing me his sweet serenade.
and to dance with me in the moonlight,
to the tune of the sounding waves.

...
but at first light of sunrise,
my love departs and kisses me farewell.

he is just a dream, an illusion,
created by this lonely heart of mine.
...

but as absurd as it may seem to be,
i believe he is real out in the world somewhere.
in our secret paradise by the sea,
one day, my love will meet me there.

bedtime prayer

every night, tara gene prays this way:

now as i lay me down to sleep,
i pray for a man who's not a creep.
one who's handsome, smart and strong,
he's not afraid to admit he is wrong.
one who thinks before he speaks,
when he promises to call, he doesn't wait six weeks.
i pray that he is gainfully employed,
won't lose his cool when he's anoyed.
pulls out my chair and opens the door,
massages my back and begs to do more.
oh, send me a man who will make love to my mind.
knows what to say when i ask,
"how fat is my behind?"
one who'll make love till my body's a' itchin'
he brings me a sandwich too when he goes to the kitchen.
i pray that this man will love me to no end,
and would never compare me with my best friend.
thank you in advance and now i'll just wait,
for i know You will send him before it's too late.
amen.

piece of advice

don't be reckless with people's hearts. don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

- from 'wear sunscreen'

why is there evil?

“God either cannot or will not prevent evil. If God cannot prevent evil, then God is limited in power. If God will not prevent evil, then God is limited in benevolence. But if God is not limited in power or benevolence, why is there evil in the world?”

What is evil? I personally define evil as anything that causes pain and suffering. Where in the world do these evils come from? I found that most of the evils I thought of trace their way to the free choices that people make. Evils that cause so much human suffering such as oppression, discrimination, violence and wars all began from a choice. A choice gave rise to all these evils and I think that a choice can also diminish it.

God endowed man with the gift of freedom. He also gave man reason to guide him in the use of his freedom. In what way and for what purpose that man will use his freedom, God respects. Even if man will use his freedom to draw himself farther away from God, God will continue to respect that choice. As Fr. Alfeo Nudas S.J. put it, "God gave us free will even if we will use that free will to slap the face of God." God is that good and He loves man that much. However, man is imperfect. Although he has reason to guide him, he still makes fallible choices. It’s just part of being human.

What about evils that do not trace their roots to human choice, where do these evils come from? Natural calamities like tsunamis, earthquakes as well as diseases and epidemics cause pain and suffering but are not rooted in human choices. How can all-loving God permit such pain and suffering? I think that God permits this kind of suffering, even though He can prevent it, for a purpose which is way beyond my comprehension. I can only infer of such purpose but I am not certain.

Thinking of evil, pain and suffering, I can’t help myself from thinking about Jesus Christ. He shares the divinity of God yet He allowed Himself to be subjected to the severest of pain. He could have avoided all that, as He is capable of anything, but He just accepted it. As a believer of Christ, I am encouraged to take on a similar attitude towards pain and suffering. I found that there is also good in pain. The beauty in pain is that it is directed towards a grand purpose. In the life of Jesus Christ, pain was part and parcel of the grand scheme of salvation. In human life, I infer that God permits pain to make us good people and to eventually make the free choice of reciprocating God’s love.

happy mothers' day!

happy mothers' day, ma!

i love you.

positive

there are just times in life when you're caught off-guard by sudden loneliness. you find yuorself alone and the cold wind of sadness blows straight through your body. chilling it, making it ache for warmth that can only be found in the arms of someone special. the only thing that saves you is the thought that someome cuold be thinking of you right at that moment. some special soul beyond your reach is aching for the same warmth your looking for..

think and exist

Just because we can think of something does not prove that it exists.

A long time ago, an intelligent man named Leonardo da Vinci thought of people flying in the sky like birds do. He liked what he thought of; he liked the idea. He spent his time playing with the idea in his mind. He even made illustrations of the idea on paper. Years passed and da Vinci died without ever having to see people fly in the sky. It never happened in his lifetime.

Centuries after Leonardo da Vinci’s death, his seemingly wasted idea took form. People conquered the sky and flew like birds using metal contraptions called aircrafts. In fact, people did not explore only the sky but even the space beyond it. Da Vinci thought of people flying and they did fly. With the help of technology, his idea became reality, a reality which is already proven. With this illustration, it is safe to say that the existence of something can be proven by the event that it was thought of.

However, existence denotes a present occurrence. Something is said to exist when it is real at present time. Real refers to something that actually exist and not mere possibility. Something exists when it is real in “now” time. Da Vinci’s idea of people flying was not real and did not exist in his time. It was, instead, a possibility. The existence of people flying cannot be proven by the event that da Vinci thought of it. Today, on the other hand, a person flying (by means of aircrafts) is not mere possibility but a reality which we can prove. What is formerly non-existent now exists; it did not exist then but now it does.

What does this say? This says that not all things that we think of now are proven to exist just because we think of them. What we think of now could be possibilities of things yet to exist. The things we think of now may or may not exist in a not so distant future. This realization affirms that man is indeed God’s masterpiece. God has given him so many gifts that he can turn his possibilities into realities.

*whether this train of thought is correct or valid or what, tell me..

last song syndrome

+ power of two +
indigo girls

now the parking lot is empty
everyone's gone someplace
i pick you up and in the trunk i've packed
a cooler and a 2-day suitcase
cause there's a place we like to drive
way out in the country
five miles out of the city limit we're singing
and your hand's upon my knee

so we're okay
we're fine
baby i'm here to stop your crying
chase all the ghosts from your head
i'm stronger than the monster beneath your bed
smarter than the tricks played on your heart
we'll look at them together then we'll take them apart
adding up the total of a love that's true
multiply life by the power of two

you know the things that i am afraid of
i'm not afraid to tell
and if we ever leave a legacy
it's that we loved each other well
cause i've seen the shadows of so many people
trying on the treasures of youth
but a road that fancy and fast
ends in a fatal crash
and i'm glad we got off
to tell you the truth

cause we're okay
we're fine
baby i'm here to stop your crying
chase all the ghosts from your head
i'm stronger than the monster beneath your bed
smarter than the tricks played on your heart
we'll look at them together then we'll take them apart
adding up the total of a love that's true
multiply life by the power of two

all the shiny little trinkets of temptation
(make new friends)
something new instead of something old
(but keep the old)
all you gotta do is scratch beneath the surface
(but remember what is gold)
and it's fools gold
(what is gold)
fools gold
(what is gold)
fools gold

now we're talking about a difficult thing
and your eyes are getting wet
i took us for better and i took us for worse
don't you ever forget it
now the steel bars between me and a promise
suddenly bend with ease
the closer i'm bound in love to you
the closer i am to free

so we're okay
we're fine
baby i'm here to stop your crying
chase all the ghosts from your head
i'm stronger than the monster beneath your bed
smarter than the tricks played on your heart
we'll look at them together then we'll take them apart
adding up the total of a love that's true
multiply life by the power of two

* it's been a while since i last heard this song. i just love it! one of my all time favorites.