keepin' it cute

im keeping this posting short today. sweet? could be if you like to take it that way. unlikely though. but profound would be the better word. just something to think about..

'We are not human beings on a spiritual journey. We are spiritual beings on a human journey'.
- Teilhard de Chardin

old and new

why is it so difficult to move on?

apparently, we all like things that are new. new things are such a marvel to us.

but why do we often choose to live in the past tense? we nurse old wounds again and again. we refuse to let it heal so we can finally let go of the hurt and move onwards. we can't seem to loosen our grip on our hang ups and insecurities. and as defense mechanism, we act as if we feel finer than fine. we like things new but we choose to see the old things that are reminiscent of ancient pains. we are making ourselves older ahead of time, by choice.

i should have

i was following your steps, chasing you, careful not to lose you in the multitude of human noise and shadows..

i was close behind, my feet were tired and sore but my desire to follow you was overwhelming, even to myself.. your distant form was my compass, as long as you are in sight i was sure where i was headed.. i had direction because you were there..

i was close behind, waiting, waiting for you to turn and spare me a glance, to bless me with a quick glimpse from your soulful eyes..

i was hoping, i really was, desperately..

but you didn't, you walked straight away and faded..

and my heart was washed with sadness.. and regret..

i should have called out to you.. maybe you would've turned..

i should have..

diamonds

don't take for granted the persons dear to you. you might wake up one day and realize that you've lost a diamond because you were too busy collecting stones..

people are diamonds. beautiful, special, precious. it doesn't matter where a diamond may be put, its value never diminishes nor fades. a diamond remains a diamond even when it is covered with so much mud or even when it placed in the dumps or even in the sewer. an individual's dignity is like that. it remains in a person no matter where you put him. he may be stripped naked of all possessions but his dignity remains intact and that must be respected at all times. a diamond, no matter how flawed, remains a diamond. would you rather be a perfect brick and not a flawed diamond? just as diamonds are polished through fire and brimstone to show its brilliance, people are molded by pains and sufferings..

thoughts on a busy day

i need to remind myself that i am not the general manager of the universe!

there are some things, a lot of things actually, that i just can't control.

i got to stop feeling guilty and frustrated about everything that goes wrong. i got to focus more on the brighter side of things.

every bad thing is a good thing twisted.

at least, that's what one girl in school said.

an unborn baby's letter to mommy

Dear Mommy,

I am in Heaven now, sitting on Jesus' lap.
He loves me and cries with me; for my heart has been broken.
I so wanted to be your little girl. I don't quite understand what has happened.
I was so excited when I began realizing my existence.
I was in a dark, yet comfortable place. I saw I had fingers and toes.
I was pretty far along in my developing, yet not near ready to leave my surroundings.
I spent most of my time thinking or sleeping.
Even from my earliest days, I felt a special bonding between you and me.
Sometimes I heard you crying and I cried with you. Sometimes you would yell or scream, then cry.
I heard Daddy yelling back.
I was sad, and hoped you would be better soon.
I wondered why you cried so much. One day you cried almost all of the day.
I hurt for you. I couldn't imagine why you were so unhappy.
That same day, the most horrible thing happened.
A very mean monster came into that warm, comfortable place I was in.
I was so scared, I began screaming, but you never once tried to help me.
Maybe you never heard me.
The monster got closer and closer as I was screaming and screaming,
"Mommy, Mommy, help me please; Mommy, help me."
Complete terror is all I felt.
I screamed and screamed until I thought I couldn't anymore.
Then the monster started ripping my arms off.
It hurt so bad; the pain I can never explain.
It didn't stop. Oh, how I begged it to stop.
I screamed in horror as it ripped my leg off.
Though I was in such complete pain, I was dying.
I knew I would never see your face or hear you say how much you love me.
I wanted to make all your tears go away.
I had so many plans to make you happy.
Now I couldn't; all my dreams were shattered.
Though I was in utter pain and horror, I felt the pain of my heart breaking, above all.
I wanted more than anything to be your daughter.
No use now, for I was dying a painful death.
I could only imagine the terrible things that they had done to you.
I wanted to tell you that I love you before I was gone, but I didn't know the words you could understand.
And soon, I no longer had the breath to say them; I was dead.
I felt myself rising. I was being carried by a huge angel into a big beautiful place.
I was still crying, but the physical pain was gone.
The angel took me to Jesus and set me on His lap.
He said He loved me, and He was my Father. Then I was happy. I asked Him what the thing was that killed me. He answered, "Abortion.
I am sorry, my child; for I know how it feels."
I don't know what abortion is;
I guess that's the name of the monster.

I'm writing to say that I love you and to tell you how much I wanted to be your little girl.
I tried very hard to live.
I wanted to live. I had the will, but I couldn't; the monster was too powerful.
It sucked my arms and legs off and finally got all of me. It was impossible to live.
I just wanted you to know I tried to stay with you.
I didn't want to die.

Also, Mommy, please watch out for that abortion monster.
Mommy, I love you and I would hate for you to go through the kind of pain I did.

Please be careful.

Love,
Your Baby Girl

proactivity creed

I believe in myself. I am unique. I am happy being “me.” There has never been or will never be anyone like me. My life has a special purpose. I am a special value because I am a person. My value increases with new learning, relationship, setback, and achievement.
It is my birthright to be healthy, wealthy, successful and happy. I enjoy living.
I believe in my capacity to choose, to feel, to sense, to learn, to think, to love, to speak, to act, and to work for a meaningful purpose. I give time for worthy causes. I take control of my feelings, imagination, will, self-awareness and conscience in order to build lasting and meaningful human relationships as well as achieve noble purposes.
I keep and cherish only beautiful memories. I learn from mistakes. I enjoy minute internal vacations and stay calm in the midst of problems. I count all blessings received from God, nature, and others to keep my spirits high. When I feel low, I remember these words: “I had the blues because I had no shoes until upon the street I met a man who had no feet.”
I believe in my ability to release, to inspire, or to unfold the unfinished potential in others. I transfer my enthusiasm to others. I smile and spread gladness. I laugh a lot. I give a kind word. I touch with affection. I appreciate little things and little acts received from others. I give credit and honor to others. I share victories.
I am responsible. I am free. I take all the credit and the blame for everything that is happening in my life. My nature is to act; not to be acted upon.
I treat work, study, and books to read, as stepping stones or rung of the ladder to success, more love, greater service and happiness. They’re not loads that weigh me down but the road for becoming more.
I look at problems as opportunities to increase my potentials and to deepen my relationships. I turn limitations into strength. My desire for the rewards of success is stronger than the penalties of failure. I remain courageous despite of my fears. I pray for strength and guidance. I hope for the very best in every challenge.
I focus and direct my energy on my area of influence when dealing with problems. I seek solutions to conditions I can control instead of worrying about concerns beyond my influence. I internalize and visualize my goals. I maintain and increase my faith in myself by reading daily my mission statements.
I am a steward of nature. I dwell in order to raise nature and all its creatures to the level of the eternal. I believe that things have special meaning in their role to increasing life for all humans and all creatures. I encourage others to affirm and commit to a synergistic relationship with all living things in the world. I feel affirmed by God in His world.
I believe that everyone I met is a person with dignity, freedom, conscience, will and imagination. Persons are gifts to me. I value their presence and contribution to my life and to the world. I help them grow. I express gratitude even in their passing and recall only the blessings received from and through them.
I believe in others. I believe in their capacity to be good, to choose what is right for themselves. I respect their feelings. I recognize, appreciate and respect our differences. I compliment their strengths. I reinforce their weaknesses.
I believe in the deep and lasting happiness that comes from creative endeavors and effort that allows everyone I love and serve the condition for spiritual growth. I can make and keep commitments. I am respectful even when angry. I am patient. I suffer joyfully in being wounded in the understanding of my limits yet bleed willingly because of love or friendship. I am kind. I accept the values that others place on what they say. I honor expectations. I am loyal to love ones by defending them even in their absence. I apologize for my mistakes. I share my spiritual presence. I give unconditionally and steadily.
My purpose is to love; to be loved is a gift I gladly received from others. I listen intently to others in order to understand them better than they probably can understand themselves. I seek first to understand before being understood. I believe that others will be willing to help me only if I am willing to make them grow. I am fair and honest in my dealings. I demand of others only what I can do myself. I give others only the best in me.
I delegate authority and power in order to produce more and quality results or services. I trust and respect their unique response to their own challenges.
I lovingly engage in confrontation in order to solve problems. I fight fairly. I focus on solutions to problems while always respecting the integrity of the other person. I aim for a double-win. I courageously and considerately point to problems in our behavior with confidence in our abundant ability to become better. I choose happiness instead of righteousness. I humbly adjust my position in order to extend my being to others. I evaluate and judge everything based on principles. I respond with a “no deal” to irreconcilable or non-universalized interests. Persons, relationships, and principles are not compromised; only things, schedules or events can be compromised.
I believe in the power of forgiveness to heal and renew human relationships. I accept the limitations in my person as well as in others. My failures humble me. My tears cleanse and heal me. I strive to be whole instead of being perfect. I can become better despite of my past.
I live with courage. I welcome risks. I open new opportunities to increase my subjectivity, the subjectivity of others and the well-being of nature.
-- JAV BIBAL 5/25/05