a struggling student no more

finally..no more quizzes, projects, deadlines, internship, demanding teachers, tuition fee, lines at the financeoffice,enrollment torture..im free! albeit temporarily.. bye student life..it's time to go forth and party..then work, after..

and with an unfathomable grin, just say it for god's sake! - welcome to the real world!

yeah, like you can actually scare me..

pardon the incoherence, just random thoughts..

appreciating commitment

another insight from sir bibal's pro-love comm. i don't believe in coincidence. i believe in answered prayers.it really does answer so many questions..

COMMITMENT is an OBLIGATION. It is a decision; an act of will. It is a pledge or a "moral binding force" that must be translated to action.

This can only be done by "mature" people with "character." To be committed means to mature. This calls from the person CONSISTENCY in purpose and action towards that purpose no matter what the situation is. Rain or shine the goal must be achieved. This person does not seek something temporary like pleasures but something more lasting.

Essential to commitment are VALUES and PRINCIPLES. WE need to become committed to those values. We cannot be committed to pleasures like sex or food since these are temporary and superficial. VALUES are eternal and requires "effort" and "time" before they can be realized. LOVE is a value which needs work and time. It cannot be hurried or disguised. LOVE IS AN OBLIGATION that must be done with so much effort.

Someone who is still growing up and has not included long term values in his or her LIFE PLANS cannot understand what commitment is. But Our ability to become committed to some THINGS when we were young is a training ground to become committed to PERSONS. Give a boy or girl a task that he or she can perform alone and with excellence and you have found a character who can later on be committed to a partnership.

OUR LIVING OF VALUES AND COMMITMENT however is not steady and easy. As historical and physically grounded persons, we can sometimes be weakened in our strength, by our doubts or confront difficult situations or be tempted by better persons as options that will challenge our values at the center of our source of meaning and relationships. These challenges and tests however cannot penetrate deep if the persons involved are rooted deeply in values and principles.

MARRIAGE before God means to allow the divine and supernatural power to penetrate deep into the human dimension since human effort alone is not enough to succeed in one's commitment. This marriage is beautiful as both surrender to the INTELLIGENCE and a shared responsibility of the partners. TRUST is essential here between partners as well as absolute trust in God.

friends with benefits

the truth is, i find casual relationships confusing. a relationship with no commitment? isn't that a contradiction? you're together but not exclusively. you like each other 'romantically,' you get intimate but you're just friends. at face value, it's an instant solution to loneliness and an excuse from commitment-related responsibilities. it seems like a win-win relationship but it's not about love is it? love relationships are commitments are they not?

two people just want to know themselves more, so they get into casual relationships. 'definitive exploration' is the experts' jargon for that. it seems valid but in casual relationships, you run the risk of using each other. you just want to know yourself right? you care about the other person but you care about yourself more. it's about 'me' and not 'we,' about individuals and not couples. in this kind of relationship, investing emotionally would seem like a bad idea. it's uncertain.

i might be getting things mixed up here but it's really confusing. i don't mean to judge, just offering an insight. you see, my take on relationships have always been based on my beliefs about love. to me, there is more to love than romantic feelings. feelings are volatile stuff. they come and go at the slightest provocation. love is more stable and lasting than that. if love is just a feeling then relationships will never last. we get angry, annoyed evn envoius of the people we love at times. there are times that we just wnat to strangle them or have them cast away in a deserted island. sometimes we want to get away from them. all that are feelings but despite all of that, we hold on to our loved ones. we continue to love them even when we don't feel like loving them. love outweighs all the negative feelings we feel towards them. i not saying that feelings are irrelevant in love. feelings are essential too. but feelings are not the only things that matter in loving relationships. love entails a decision to continue loving even when we feel that our love is not returned in the way we want it returned. it's not just about 'me' it's about 'us.' it's a commitment where one extends himself and shares it to someone. love is making a promise and deciding to keep it through hardships.

easy but not helpful

so many unpleasant things are happening. .(what an understatement!) political instability, graft and corruption, subtle repression of freedom and human rights, deterioration of morals.. all these and a host of other things make me sick, breeding pessimism, hopelessness, apathy and uncertainty in people, in social institutions and even in God. the worst is, these things enter too easily into my system, so hard to brush off..

it's so easy hate the world today, point fingers at people and structures, blame myself and even God. it's so easy to just ignore all that happening, to say: "yeah i know the world is sick but couldn't care less. i breathe and that's all that matters."

but turning a blind eye on these things is like taking a malignant cancer for granted. it's easy but it doesn't help. you're just allowing it to grow. and it kills you before you know it.

life is hard for everyone nowadays but i don't think i can just ignore these things. to me, now would be the perfect time to offer help and comfort, to show concern and care for people, storm heaven with prayers. some take it to the streets and get badly hurt and some can tend to the weary and offer affection. yes, life is difficult but it doesn't mean that love or heroism do not exist.

the easy way of apathy does not help at all. it never will be. if we only see what we like to see, then what were our eyes for?

*****

our mentors have told us over and over that new teachers are all too idealistic. and frustration is surely heading their way.

i say, what's so bad about idealism? with all due respect, we already realize that the world way far from ideal. we know, we live in it. but if it's idealism that makes one want to do good, to genuinely care and to truly serve by teaching, then what's wrong with it? okay,so frustration is heading our way. but avoiding pain and frustration won't help really. worst, it can stagnate us.

resurrected

i'm back to this blogging business! i'm alert, alive and enthusiastic once again! i'm more alive than ever! intership's over and i have two full weeks before graduation day. it's the perfect time to reconnect with friends and some things set aside to give way to internship. i miss being a regular student, i have to say that. going to campus daily, wearing the university uniform, walking down the corridors of the campus, daydreaming by the benches near soccer field, all of that. for six full months, i was a student teacher: making lesson plans, making test, materials, checking papers, scolding students at the expense of my voice (haha), taking the teacher role to the most serious level i could handle.

it was incredibly tiring but it was all good; all worth going through.

now, i'm starting to look for work and make little wonders inside the classroom - for real.