friends with benefits

the truth is, i find casual relationships confusing. a relationship with no commitment? isn't that a contradiction? you're together but not exclusively. you like each other 'romantically,' you get intimate but you're just friends. at face value, it's an instant solution to loneliness and an excuse from commitment-related responsibilities. it seems like a win-win relationship but it's not about love is it? love relationships are commitments are they not?

two people just want to know themselves more, so they get into casual relationships. 'definitive exploration' is the experts' jargon for that. it seems valid but in casual relationships, you run the risk of using each other. you just want to know yourself right? you care about the other person but you care about yourself more. it's about 'me' and not 'we,' about individuals and not couples. in this kind of relationship, investing emotionally would seem like a bad idea. it's uncertain.

i might be getting things mixed up here but it's really confusing. i don't mean to judge, just offering an insight. you see, my take on relationships have always been based on my beliefs about love. to me, there is more to love than romantic feelings. feelings are volatile stuff. they come and go at the slightest provocation. love is more stable and lasting than that. if love is just a feeling then relationships will never last. we get angry, annoyed evn envoius of the people we love at times. there are times that we just wnat to strangle them or have them cast away in a deserted island. sometimes we want to get away from them. all that are feelings but despite all of that, we hold on to our loved ones. we continue to love them even when we don't feel like loving them. love outweighs all the negative feelings we feel towards them. i not saying that feelings are irrelevant in love. feelings are essential too. but feelings are not the only things that matter in loving relationships. love entails a decision to continue loving even when we feel that our love is not returned in the way we want it returned. it's not just about 'me' it's about 'us.' it's a commitment where one extends himself and shares it to someone. love is making a promise and deciding to keep it through hardships.